Victoria Alarcon
Features & Opinions Editor
@excalweb
Afedah Haniff is a perfectionist. She’ll spend hours writing a paper and going through every single line before thinking about handing the essay in. Even when it comes to a simple 200-word assignment, she’ll need a whole month to make it “perfect” in her eyes.
“When you’ve become a perfectionist you panic over everything,” she says, recalling every assignment she has had to do.
Growing up in Guyana, Haniff admits that she was always in a competitive environment where teachers pushed students to be better. Now 17 years old, she’s studying at York on a scholarship that she depends on to get her through university.
Her life at the moment has become stressful and single-minded, continuously striving towards getting the marks she wants while avoiding any and all errors.
Though Haniff’s situation seems unique, the reality is that all perfectionists go through the same thing. According to a study this year by lead author and York psychology professor Gordon Flett, being a perfectionist isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.
After surveying 228 York students, Flett along with other Canadian researchers found that those who focus too much on the need to be perfect suffer from a whole string of negative emotions including anger, shame, and sadness. As a result, many suffer from psychosomatic symptoms such as headaches and exhaustion.
As Flett defines it, perfectionism is the need to be perfect or appear perfect and almost always have impossibly high standards for themselves. Perfectionists can be those who continuously try to conceal imperfections or individuals who strive to project a perfect image of themselves to others.
Flett, who has studied perfectionism since 1988, notes that certain cases can lead to serious repercussions such as depression, eating disorders, and suicide.
The condition starts at an early age and past studies have found that children as young as four to five years old possess traits of perfectionism. At a young age, many children feel vulnerable and any negative feedback from others could leave a huge impression. In a past study by Flett and other researchers, it was found that family plays a huge factor into whether a child becomes a perfectionist.
For Haniff, however, it was her country’s societal expectations that caused her to grow up with the need for perfection. “You grow up in a society where people expect you to be perfect, and you interpret that as a young person,” says Haniff. “I’m thinking, ‘Isn’t it good to always want to be perfect?’”
As Flett sees it there’s nothing really good about being a perfectionist though a lot may think so. The need to continuously try to be perfect when it’s impossible can only bring you down in life.
“Those students who want to be perfect put too much pressure on themselves and they may have a big problem with procrastination if they have the fear of failure,” says Flett.
What students should be realizing is that positive outcomes and benefits come from striving towards excellence rather than striving for perfection.
A good way to combat perfectionism is by learning stress relaxation training and avoiding negative thinking. Flett notes that adopting exercises that come from cognitive behavioral therapy such as counselling and therapy may also help.
What students should take away from this study, says Flett, is that “Students can learn that focusing constantly on perfection can make them feel sick. If they are feeling badly enough, they should seek help, including the help available at York. A big thing they can learn is that it is important to accept that good enough is good enough.”
