Major movies, just for your major

S
ince you go to York, you probably only have money to see one movie this coming summer. Excalibur has made it easy to choose the right film for you, by matching movies with majors.
Just find your field of study, and we’ll give you the upcoming blockbuster that best satisfies your interests.
The list is in alphabetical order by program. And yes, we assume this is a 100 per cent foolproof system that will please everyone. After all, science majors unanimously loved Gravity, right? Right?
Major: Biology
Movie: The Amazing Spider-Man 2 
Some of the biology on display in 500 Days of Summer director Marc Webb’s public meltdown: being bitten by a spider makes you a spider, being electrocuted makes you electric, and getting diagnosed with a hereditary illness makes you a green goblin.
Checks out.
Major: Criminology
Movie: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles follows a crew of rad, reptilian dudes who—now this one’s right up your alley—fight crime!
As a criminology student, you should hunt down and arrest the people responsible for this film.
Major: Disaster and Emergency Management
Movie: Godzilla
Pop quiz: What do you do when a giant, Japanese lizard breathes nuclear fire everywhere and stomps your city to the ground? Come on… you know this one!
Major: Film
Movie: Boyhood 
Director Richard Linklater’s new film about divorce and adolescence took 12 years to complete! That’s right: only 12 years. Film students will be impressed at just how quickly it was put together.
Major: Economics
Movie: Transformers: Age of Extinction
The trailer for the fourth Transformers outing features robots riding robot dinosaurs and Mark Wahlberg just bein’ a dad. Someone with your degree gave Michael Bay $165 million to make this. Set things right.
Major: History
Movie: X-Men: Days of Future Past 
Did you know JFK was killed by a Jewish mutant who controls magnets with his brain? You didn’t? Don’t worry, this movie will get you up to speed on the facts York profs won’t tell you.
Major: Kinesiology and Health Science
Movie: Hercules
If you can’t get as built as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson playing a Greek god, then why are you even in this program?
Major: Multicultural & Indigenous Studies
Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy
Sadly, a green alien, wisecracking raccoon, and talking tree are the closest thing you’ll get to a multicultural cast in a 2014 blockbuster.
Major: Music
Movie: Jersey Boys 
Directed by music legend Clint Eastwood (have you seen Paint Your Wagon?), Jersey Boys follows the career of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, who were kind of like Maroon 5 for mafiosos.
Major: Psychology
Movies: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes  
Psychologist Harry Harlow’s influential work showed that if monkeys lack companionship and parental care, they will have developmental issues.
Dawn of the Planet the Apes expands on his work, making the bold claim that if monkeys can talk and are given weapons, it is a bad idea.
Major: Social Work
Movie: The Expendables 3 
A career in social work could place you in a retirement home position. Expendables 3 will give you an idea of the type of people you might be directly caring for.
Major: Statistics
Movie: Edge of Tomorrow 
This film is all about Tom Cruise reliving the same day over and over again until he can get it right and save the world, which follows a complex set of rules based on probability and outcome.
And here’s another statistic: there is a 95 per cent chance this movie will suck.
Major: Urban Studies
Movie: Sin City: A Dame to Kill For  
“The city is the most fundamental of human institutions,” says York’s website. Cities are “the locale of scientific, social, and artistic creativity.”
Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez say “cities are like ‘BAM! BOOM!’ Was that Joseph Gordon-Levitt?”
In university, it’s important to learn multiple perspectives.
 
Dustin Dyer
Arts Editor
 
Illustration by Erika Madsen