Jodie Vanderslot, Staff Writer
Featured image courtesy of Pete Linforth
It’s like a tight knot that you can’t untwist. Stomach turning, hands trembling, voice shaking. It feels like the acid in your stomach is burning and eating away at you from the inside-out. Your face is on fire, your heart is racing. Your body is in distress. Every fiber of your being is alert. One second you’re moving too fast and the next thing you know, you’ve suddenly fallen behind. This is what anxiety feels like, and it seems like it’ll feel this way forever.
“Anxiety feels like you’re being suffocated from the inside,” says Hayllie Durette, a third-year visual arts major.
I avoid eye contact. This is not because I’m rude or because I’m not listening, but because I have a stream of constant thoughts playing in my mind and I hope you can’t tell what is going on in my head just by looking at me. Every cell in my body and every nerve in my brain is experiencing everything so intensely, it sounds like a broken white noise. I’m not being overdramatic and I would control it if I could.
“Anxiety feels like you are out of control. It is a thunderous storm inside of you and the more you try to tell it to go away, the stronger it becomes,” says Indie Kaur, president of Active Minds at York.
Anxiety is the perpetual kind of thinking that knows no bounds. It is immobilizing. It makes you feel estranged because it feels as though you’re lacking the ability to shake the emotion down. It feels like it is all or nothing.
Anxiety is very convincing. It is a relentless heaviness on your mind, like something is not quite right, although you probably wouldn’t be able to pinpoint what it is. You have an overwhelming stream of thoughts bouncing back and forth vigorously through your head. It’s as though you’re the only one experiencing every emotion at such extremes.
“Anxiety feels like drowning but everyone around you is breathing,” says Daniel Krasner, a second-year kinesiology student.
It feels like everyone around you is allowed to walk freely, whereas you’re strapped to your repetitive and loud thoughts. It can feel so incredibly lonely.
“Anxiety disorders include generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, phobias, social anxiety, and agoraphobia or fear of open spaces,” says Kaur.
Anxiety is all too common. In fact, 56.8 per cent of York students reported feeling overwhelming anxiety, according to the National College Health Assessment survey, she says.
Anxiety is not worn like a piece of clothing. It affects the people you know and a larger percentage than you may have realized.
It is emotionally and physically draining, and sometimes all of your energy goes into convincing yourself that you’re okay. One of the toughest things is having to explain your anxiousness to people who don’t seem to understand how serious it is.
Anxiety becomes a problem or a disorder when it is persistent and begins to dramatically affect your everyday life, such as avoiding situations, turning down opportunities, or not going out. Some fears are rational, while others less so. We all deal with anxiety in some form or another, but for some, anxiety can become a much larger, more fearsome force.
“The most important thing is realizing that you’re not a freak. Even though you have something wrong with you, with effort, patience, and a little bit of a help you can live an ordinary life. The most effective things for me were medication, structure, diet, and exercise,” says a student who wishes to preserve her anonymity due to the stigma of mental health.
Exercise has proven mental health and physical benefits. A group of students have started a recreational running group called Team Unbreakable at York that focuses on running as a way to stay mentally and physically healthy. With a motto of, “Physical health for mental health,” together they run between one and five kilometres, increasing their distance every week and ensuring that no one gets left behind.
“Regular exercise is good for both your mind as well as your body. It’s incredibly important to take care of yourself but students often lack the motivation or the discipline to actually do it,” says Durette, who is also one of the coordinators at Team Unbreakable.
All students are welcome to run with the team in a safe and supportive environment, regardless of their state of mental health. Team Unbreakable also works with hospitals and family health teams to implement running therapy programs for those who have been diagnosed with a mental health disorder. These ground-breaking therapy programs have been shown to help young people tremendously in their battle against mental illness.
Achieving mental health is not something that comes with an easy fix or a set-in-stone instructional manual. Anxiety does not go away simply because you wish it to or because you have a prescription. It is a long and strenuous process but it is possible.
Asking for help makes you anything but weak. It is one of the hardest things to do and it is not something to be looked down upon; it is something to be respected and admired. Remember, you are not alone. Seek the help that is available for you.
