Your guide to social etiquette at York

Mahdis Habibinia | Executive Editor (Online)

Featured image courtesy of Jasmine Wiradharma

There is a binding set of tacit rules you won’t find at Scott Library that clearly outline the social etiquettes of campus nuisances. Why is this secret book buried six-feet under a pile of ignorance? Simply because it’s not talked about enough.

It’s encouraged to talk about these implicit rules of conduct, by all means. But take that, and other conversations, outside of the library where people are trying to study. Chatty Cathy’s of the York population are unwelcome in the quiet recesses of Scott Library where sleep-deprived, almost-homicidal students are preparing for a final exam worth a good portion of their sanity.

This courtesy extends to those who clearly don’t own a pair of earphones and don’t know how to chew with their mouths closed. The latter should be a simple cut-and-paste process.

What’s not cut-and-paste, however, are the self-entitled students who cut lines at the Züm or GO bus stops. Apparently there’s a giant, flashing sign above their heads that indicates they have a pressing appointment with the Prime Minister himself which seems to outshine the other 10 or 20 students in line who have somewhere less important to be.

This sense of entitlement further extends to traffic-prone hallways. It’s obvious large cliques of students are engaged in some thought-provoking debate about existentialism, but how that prevents their legs or minds from understanding not to block hallways or doorways is a question scientists are still studying (here’s looking at you traffic-impeding students glued to the middle of Ross’ hallway).

May I recommend a 4oz bottle of ‘Goof Off’ for your predicament?

Or perhaps the ingenious glue-remover is better suited for those who ride the escalator standing on the left, and evidently do not drive. For those who don’t drive (and for those who do but are likely a root cause of many drivers’ road rage), the left lane is called ‘the passing lane.’ The same rule extends to any escalator ride that you want to make out of alive.

Now let’s move on to classroom manners, because if there’s anything we’ve learned, it’s how much everyone loves that one kid in lecture who will not allow the professor to finish their thought so we can be ready for an upcoming exam. Congratulations for your award as ‘Most Annoying Student.’

And the prize for best supporting actor in this story goes to that one student who will consistently ask for your grade A notes because they always seem to be sick—from September until exams.

Finally (and what is arguably the most crucial), studies in otolaryngology suggest to help make their ENT’s lives easier by not destroying nasal cavities, heading over to Shoppers and spending that $2.86 on a small deodorant before you head to your windowless, sardine can of a classroom.

The same goes for people who bathe in their cologne/perfume instead; if your fragrance has to be discovered and not announced, you might want to get that twitch in your fingers itching for a 17th spray checked out at Appletree Medical Centre.