Shahroze Rauf | Assistant News Editor
Featured Image: Transit services will operate on campus at a terminal outside Seneca College, exclusive to Seneca students. | Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Transit systems including GO Transit and the YRT have returned and are now operating on campus. However, the new terminal, now located just outside the Seneca @ York building, will only be available to Seneca students with a valid student ID.
Salami Sting, media relations spokesperson for Seneca @ York, describes the agreement the college made with the transit systems this week. GO and YRT have joined together through a union which has been officially named ‘GOYRT.’
“We are proud to have established an agreement with GOYRT to provide better accommodations for our students as an institution on a commuter campus,” he says.
Sting says though the aim of Seneca is to help students, their help does not extend beyond the college’s own students.
“Though we would love to share our services with students from York, much like their larger gym, our transit services are exclusive to our students.”
Some Seneca students expressed their relief with the agreement, describing that transit disagreements between York and other transit systems should not have affected Seneca.
“I’m just so grateful that busses are back. These disagreements were getting ridiculous on both sides, and as students we suffered a lot, especially financially because of transit decisions,” says eighth-year pottery studies student at Seneca, Paroline Cetrucci. “I mean, next thing you know, transit systems would be demanding that universities pay students back! Could you imagine that?”
To make sure the agreement is respected by York students, Seneca has also loaned $45 billion to transit services to fund a Transit Security Team (TST) together with GO and the YRT.
“Our anti-York task force—I mean the Transit Security Team—will operate solely in a regulatory fashion to ensure that transit services remain available only to Seneca students,” says Captain Gary-Jane Beryl from the TST.
However, the TST will not regulate other safety concerns and will only focus on making sure not a single student of York boards busses from the Seneca terminal.
“For safety purposes, each TST member will be armed with standard firearms, tasers, and pepper spray, in the case of extreme circumstances. We advise members of the York community to follow procedure and allow Seneca students to board busses peacefully.”
As for services returning to the York campus, GOYRT is asking for $45 billion from York, as well as a written apology from TTC.
“We at TTC strive to provide students affordable transit options,” says Media Relations Spokesperson for TTC, Stacy Pawvurtee. “However, we are not yet sure whether our corporation will be able to write an apology to transit services for a contract they signed. Our main concern rests with students, but again, our reputation as a corporation is important to us.”
York students were not surprised to hear that agreements between other institutions went well.
“Wait, what? No, I am very surprised,” says fourth-year herbology and divination studies student at York, Dashveer Jaboo. “Is that even legal? I’m pretty sure only police are allowed to be armed with firearms, no?”
Media Spokesperson for York media, Brenda Ranton, says that as York cares about its students and the environment of the Harry Arthurs Commons, they may not be able to raise enough money to bring transit back.
“We have invested $95 billion into facilitating committees that overlook such issues on campus. At at time like this, York regrets to inform the public that raising an amount of $45 billion is not possible at the moment. Our finances are dedicated to improving student life on campus and the education of our students.”
Once again, the YFS was unavailable for comment at the time of publication.
DISCLAIMER: Everything published in this week’s issue (with the exception of advertisements) is satirical; it is not intended to communicate any true or factual information.
