As a new school year begins, it can feel like everyone around you is already one step ahead. One student has an internship lined up, another is involved in several extracurriculars, someone else received a higher grade, and another seems to know exactly what they want to do after graduation. As students, it can be easy to look at those around us and wonder, “Am I doing enough?”
The saying “comparison is the thief of joy,” often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, became much more meaningful to me once I realized how much comparison was affecting the way I viewed my own accomplishments. University is meant to be a time when students begin figuring out who they are, discovering their interests, and working toward their future goals. Yet, I found myself more focused on what those around me were achieving than what I actually enjoyed. Constantly comparing myself to my peers began to affect my confidence, as comparison made me feel less capable and less satisfied with my own abilities and accomplishments.
When I came across students on social media who were pursuing career paths similar to mine, I would look at their extracurriculars, work experiences, and accomplishments and compare them with my own. At first, I thought this comparison was motivating me to pursue more experiences. Yet, I felt if someone else had an opportunity, I needed to find one too. If they were involved in something I wasn’t, suddenly I felt like I was falling behind. The problem was that I already had extracurriculars and experiences reflective of my own interests and goals, and I was proud of these experiences before I started comparing them to other people’s. The more I saw what my peers were doing, the less important my own accomplishments started to seem. I began to feel like I needed to do more and that what I was already doing was not enough compared to others, which only caused me more stress. Instead of asking myself, “What am I interested in?” I began asking, “What do I need to do to be as good as them?” At some point, I found myself looking into opportunities simply because I had seen other students pursue them. I had to ask myself why I even wanted some of these experiences. I realized that I couldn’t even come up with an answer beyond the fact that somebody else had them and that it seemed impressive to have on my resume. That was when I began to recognize that comparison was no longer motivating me to grow. Instead, it was influencing what I thought my life should look like.
Comparison itself isn’t always harmful. Sometimes seeing other’s success can inspire us to work harder or discover new opportunities. However, there is a difference between being inspired by someone and using them as the standard for your own success. Pursuing opportunities simply to make your resume look better or stand out to employers and post-graduate programs, without any genuine interest behind them, can leave you feeling unfulfilled. Through my experiences, I realized that success doesn’t mean building a university experience that looks impressive compared to someone else’s. It is important to understand that everyone has different goals, circumstances, interests, and opportunities, and there is no specific timeline or checklist that defines one’s success.
So, this school year, try starting small. Before applying for a role, joining a new club, getting involved in your community, or taking on another responsibility, ask yourself, “Would I still want this if I had never seen someone else doing it?” If the answer is “No,” maybe it doesn’t align with your goals or path. University gives us many opportunities to try new experiences, but that doesn’t mean we need to pursue them all to prove that we are doing enough. The best way to stop turning student life into a competition is to stop measuring our progress against others and start deciding what actually matters to us.
