Excalibur teaches you how to avoid a ménage à moi—follow this step-by-step guide to ensure success in planning your threesome
1. Bringing it up
Bringing up the idea can be a challenge. Get creative! Be open about your sexual experiences, and ask your partner if they’ve ever fantasized about a threesome before. If they hint yes, they’re probably game.
2. Finding your third
Scout out a third party. Close friends and people you see often should be off limits. Avoid making suggestions to your partner. Saying, “Hey, what about your friend Emily?” is probably not a good idea because you’ll look like a jerk and probably kill the whole thing. If you brought up the idea of a ménage à trois with your partner, let them pick or be involved in picking the third party.
3. Stranger danger
Acquaintances are great because you’ll be able to avoid them in the future, but the experience won’t be as awkward as sex with a stranger. If you can’t find an appropriate acquaintance, social networking sites and dance clubs are your next best bet.
4. Getting on the tricycle
Once you’ve selected and convinced your third party, spend some time getting to know them before your threesome. Take them out for coffee, so when it comes to the actual act, everyone’s on the same page.
5. Are you STI free?
Make sure that this person is STI free. You can do this by asking them, “Are you STI free?”
6. Check in on foursquare
Bring them to wherever you want to have your threesome. Make sure you choose a place with enough space for all three of you. Or for extra fun, a place with not enough space.
7. Laying down the law
Now set some ground rules. Know each other’s boundaries. While you have the advantage of having someone else to blame, remember, nothing will kill the mood and upset someone faster than putting your paws some place someone doesn’t want them to be.
8. Getting nekkid
All participants should remove clothing. Keep in mind there will be more penises/boobs/vaginas/hands/other parts than you’re probably used to, but don’t be intimidated. If you’re not, I doubt you need to read this article, but thank you for making it all the way to point eight.
9. Have a threesome
10. Finishing off
Take a break, clean up, and thank everyone involved. Wash up before you shake hands with them; they know exactly where your hands have been.
11. Round two
Decide not to leave yet and have another threesome.
Alex Hum, Features Editor
With files from Rajin Patel
