Victoria Strassler | Copy Editor
Featured image courtesy of Pixabay
We continue to repeat the age-old saying, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” yet we continue to be influenced physically and psychologically by those who try to tell us what beauty is supposed to be. And this is not our fault.
What exactly is beauty, according to those that shape this definition? Why can we never achieve beauty? Or rather, why do we feel as if we can never achieve it?
According to Psychology Today about 54 per cent of young women and 41 per cent of young men, both ages 13 to 19, said they are dissatisfied with their appearance; 57 per cent of women and 38 per cent of men ages 20 to 29 made the same claim.
Both men and women are faced with high standards of beauty, but there is an extraordinary amount of pressure on young girls and women in particular to meet these unrealistic expectations.
Rebecca De Santo, third-year sociology student at York, says that there is a difference in expectations because of “the way we structure society.”
Throughout history and especially in our society today, women are sold an idea of beauty from such a young age, which can develop negatively throughout their lives,” explains De Santo.
Milena Giangrosso, third-year biomedical science student, comments: “Historically, the people who made up the voice and power of a society and culture were the straight men. The way a woman ‘should’ look was dictated by the wants and fantasies of the people in power; they were able to spread iconography of ‘ideal beauty for women.’”
Silsila Bahrami, fourth-year communication studies student, also says that this difference exists because of “the cultural influences that impacted a woman’s upbringing in the patriarchal world.”
“In most cultures, men typically hold the most power and can use this power to further their own interests,” adds Bahrami.
This standard of beauty for women is referred to as the “feminine beauty ideal.” This is a social construct, and it revolves around the flawed idea that physical attractiveness is an important asset that all women should strive to achieve, and once they do, to maintain it.
The feminine beauty ideal can be traced back to old fairytales, typically written by men. These stories would describe women as having certain characteristics of beauty.
For example, in the story “Snow White” by the Brothers Grimm, the titular character is described as being “beautiful as the light of day,” with “skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as ebony wood.” Antagonists in fairy tales were often described as old hags and physically unappealing.
The relationship of “beautiful princesses” and “ugly villains” was thus exposed to us as infants. This made us believe that if we did not look the way that princesses like Snow White did, we were the Evil Queen disguised as the dreadful witch by default.
Ideas of beauty have changed throughout history and within cultures. For example, during the Middle Ages and early modern period, beauty was associated with a pale complexion and a larger weight; this meant that one did not have to work outside and could eat as much as they desired, which was a sign of wealth.
In contrast, those who had a more tanned complexion and a smaller weight represented an undesired physical appearance; it signified a poorer individual who had to work in the sun all day and did not have as much access to food.
However, the association to these types of physical characteristics have reversed in today’s culture. It is fascinating to see how these standards of beauty have changed over the years. What was once associated with beauty is now what we are told to avoid.
We focus on trying to meet these expectations of beauty that are relevant today, yet they could change in a matter of weeks, months, or years. We spend our money, time, and energy to meet these standards only for them to change in just a matter of time.
This dedication to understand what is and what is not beauty takes a toll on not only our physical appearance, but also our psychological well-being. How can we keep up with these changes?
The reality is, we cannot. We can try to, but it is difficult to meet these physical demands put on to us. But who is putting these demands out?
Businesses and brands are often the ones who create these standards for us to meet. We are shown commercials and campaigns that tell us what we need to do away with: weight, stretch marks, cellulite, dandruff, pimples, scars, dark circles, fine lines, and wrinkles, to name a few.
What these advertisements refrain from telling us is that these elements are what make us human. Instead, we are convinced that we should never have had these natural traits in the first place.
If we were not told over the years of campaigning that these are “ugly” traits, we would never associate them with this term. We should want to lose that weight or use a 10-step skincare routine to help ourselves feel better, not to remove ourselves from this classification that considers us unattractive.
Young girls and women are faced with a number of issues, with the battle for clear and “baby-like” skin being one of them; we are told that any pore in sight is unappealing. Laura Maiolo, third-year kinesiology and health science student, explains her experience in responding to these standards of beauty.
“I usually cover acne breakouts with makeup because there is an expectation of women to have clear skin. People associate acne with a lack of hygiene, but in reality, it’s not something that can always be controlled,” says Maiolo.
“As a teen, I was very self-conscious of my acne; I didn’t have makeup and I didn’t know how to use it. I felt a lot of pressure to fit into a mould of beauty that I had very little knowledge of, and my socio-economic standing didn’t allow me to always have the newest things,” adds Giangrosso.
Social media is also another culprit in creating these unrealistic standards of beauty. When we are constantly on our phones and scrolling through social media, we are exposing ourselves to these beauty expectations. We expose ourselves to those athletic and tanned models without either pores or wrinkles, and with lusciously voluminous hair.
This is not the norm. The norm is love handles, back fat, hyperpigmentation, flaky scalps, split ends, and dry skin. We don’t realize this is the norm though because those who have these traits are often too self-conscious to post a vulnerable photo or a tweet disclosing their imperfections.
Jennifer Mills, an associate psychology professor at York, conducted a survey in 2018 where she asked female undergraduates to take a selfie on an iPad and upload it to social media.
Mills and her colleagues discovered that all the participants, including those who had the chance to edit their photos, felt less attractive and less confident after posting their selfies compared to when the experiment began.
“Even though they can make the end result look ‘better,’ they are still focused on aspects of what they don’t like about the way they look,” Mills explained.
If we are at risk of reaching obesity, or we have an itchy scalp, or we have scarred skin, we should want to change these issues for our own personal benefit, not because a business or a social media platform tells us to change.
I find that my feelings about my appearance are most magnified when I see other women on social media. My thoughts gravitate towards the feeling that my features should resemble these women and that I could have these features if I had certain procedures done, or if I bought specific clothes, food, or beauty products,” says Bahrami.
Trying to meet these expectations of beauty is physically demanding. We starve ourselves to reach that weight goal. We spend hours at the gym, and we are conscious about what we can and cannot eat throughout the day.
We get nose jobs and lip fillers because we see other celebrities or social media influencers doing so. We move fat into our bust and rear to plump those areas because we see that the hourglass figure is the ideal and the most complimentary figure of beauty. We make our faces more symmetrical; we give ourselves new chins and cheek bones.
We erase ourselves. We stray as far away from who we are naturally because we are convinced that we are not good, or beautiful, enough.
Cassandra Carcasole, third-year English student, says that beauty standards resemble “the grass is always greener on the other side” mentality.
“I have curly hair, but when I see someone rocking straight hair, I wish I had that. Then when I straighten my hair, I think it’s too flat and I wish it was curly,” explains Carcasole.
Trying to meet these standards is psychologically exhausting. Being told repeatedly that we aren’t beautiful enough takes a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. This often leads to issues in our mental health including anxiety and depression for the fear and disappointment many face of not being able to reach these goals.
We continuously fill our minds with thoughts of, “Why can’t I look like that?” or, “Why did I have to be born this way?” which leads to further negative consequences on our mental well-being. According to the BBC, a journal article in ScienceDirect conducted a survey of 227 female university students, where “women reported that they tend to compare their own appearance negatively with their peer group and with celebrities.”
It is ironic that we look to social media moguls and celebrities as an inspiration for beauty that we want to resemble because these individuals often don’t even look the way they do in their posts.
With the help of Photoshop, filters, air-brushing, and fine-tuning programs that are getting more accurate and realistic by the minute, we are fooled into believing that a certain person has zero pores or wrinkles with a tiny waist and large bust. We are convinced that we should be able to reach this level of perfection, when that person cannot even do that themselves.
Instagram in particular is a social media platform that plays a major role on how we view ourselves. On a platform where we scroll on a feed full of these models and celebrities, we are constantly comparing ourselves to what we are not. These expectations of beauty tie in with the psychological notion of wanting what we can’t have, as opposed to embracing what we do have, as Carcasole mentions.
It is tiring scrolling through Instagram seeing these people who have perfect bodies, skin, and hair. We constantly crave for “real” people represented in advertisements and social media, as well as in television and film.
There is a desire for not only representation of different races, genders, sexual orientation, and cultures to exist on large platforms, but there is also a need for representation among those who do not reach these unrealistic beauty standards.
We go through hell and back just to reach a standard set by a company who wants us to buy their luxury moisturizer, weight-loss plan, or gummy vitamins. Why don’t we try as best as we financially, emotionally, and physically can to reach goals set by ourselves that are actually attainable?
Why do we try to go down ten sizes instead of working on going down one size at a time? Why do we try to give ourselves an entirely new face instead of working on one skin concern at a time? Why are we in such a rush and panic to change ourselves?
We need to set realistic goals. There is nothing wrong with trying to change your physical traits if you are personally unhappy with how you look. There is nothing wrong with losing weight, getting a nose job or lip filler, eating healthier, or investing in skincare. However, we should not be trying to change our habits and our appearance because a business or social media platform manipulated us into doing so.
We need to make these changes on our own account. We need to want these changes to make ourselves happy because we will look in the mirror and see someone who is beautiful in our own eyes, not in the eyes of someone else who only wants our money or attention.
There are a variety of changes to make if you find yourself physically and/or psychologically exhausted from trying to meet these standards of beauty.
One recommendation Mills made is to simply put down our phones. “Take a break and engage in other activities that have nothing to do with appearance and comparing yourself to other people,” suggests Mills.
Don’t compare yourself with other women or the unrealistic expectations that are placed on women. Obviously, this is easier said than done, but I think that minimal changes over time can be very impactful in the long term,” advises Maiolo.
“Who and what we surround ourselves with can greatly influence our feelings towards ourselves. Putting an end to beauty standards starts with loving yourself as who you truly are in this moment and actively taking steps towards building self-confidence,” recommends Bahrami.
“As women, we need to continue the conversation of what it means to be beautiful. Once we all come to understand that there is not one form, size, shape, or style of beauty, we will be the most beautiful versions of ourselves,” adds De Santo.
“Try to stop listening to beauty media, watching that Instagram model who surgically removed some of their ribs to look unnaturally skinny, and prescribing to the idea that you need to look a certain way,” advocates Giangrosso.
“Dress how you want to, put on what you’re comfortable in, and don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks. Live for you.”
