Shahroze Rauf | Assistant News Editor
Featured image courtesy of Jasmine Wiradharma | Comics Editor
I remember when I was just a second-year student. I kept my head down and scurried through the busy halls of Ross, trying my best to dodge the overwhelming amount of slow students and waving pamphlets. When I sat to catch my breath, she approached me, like a vulture swooping down to feast on dead prey, but in a good way—or as good as that can sound.
And I felt compelled to sign my name down for her, the soon-to-be president of the YFS, Hawan Rabib.
Why? I still don’t know to this day. Is it because I wanted representation? I am, after all, Muslim—or as Muslim as one can barely be. Or was it the feminist in me that looked up to strong female leaders? I have no idea.
But to this day, I still do not regret my decision to vote for her and her team.
The YFS has shown me what it means to have an unwavering will, and the evasiveness no creature on this planet could ever hope to achieve.
They are masters of stealth, standing up on counters to invoke the outcry of the average student, but also disappearing behind locked office doors when our news editor, Sori Tilman, went searching for comments.
Such duality. Such competence.
And how could I forget the YFS’ very own champion of speed and elusiveness, Lebastian Salonde. We, as normal humans, cannot hope to comprehend the language of this man, who speaks with the speed of light itself. We as mere mortals cannot dream to understand the value of this man’s time—time so short that not even can he afford 10 to 15 minutes for a lowly Seneca student’s on-camera interview.
Such dignity. Such dedication.
What I’m trying to say here is that the YFS are at a level that is unattainable—both literally and figuratively. Chasing them is futile. They exist on another plane, far away from us.
And once again, I can say gleefully, the YFS were unable to be reached for comment.
Thank you, Hawan Rabib’s YFS, for your dedication and service. You will be missed, as usual.
DISCLAIMER: Everything published in this week’s issue (with the exception of advertisements) is satirical; it is not intended to communicate any true or factual information.
