It doesn’t get better?

Michael Lyons
Contributor
The recent wave of homophobia- and bullying-induced teen suicides have garnered a great deal of public reaction, for better or for worse, and in the greater Toronto region, a number of vigils, rallies and at- tempts at community outreach have occured.
Just a few weeks ago there was a vigil on Church Street, which consisted of a number of speeches by bullying victims and community activists, ending with a march on Queen’s Park.
At Queen’s Park there was a particularly poignant speech made by activist Anna Willats, who spoke of the recent cancellation of the sex education curriculum in Ontario schools by Premier Dalton McGuinty, who bowed to the demands of the conservative faith community and the moral panic created by the programming.
Willats spoke about this curriculum, which included information about same-sex intercourse and education, and about the message it sends to our province’s youth about the anti-sex and anti-queer sentiment that permeates our society.
Beyond Toronto, a form of anti-bullying and anti-homophobia activism has taken place in the “It Gets Better” project, an open invitation video series initiated by writer and columnist Dan Savage. The point of the project is for anyone, celebrity or average vlogger (video blogger), to post videos telling stories of their struggles with homophobia and transphobia and the ways their lives have improved by persevering, coming to terms with themselves, discovering the LGBT community and love. The project is ambitious and well meaning, but like anything else, the reaction to this project has been complicated and contentious.
The supporters include a myriad of celebrity contributors like trans-rights activist and porn star Buck Angel, TV personality and lesbian Ellen DeGeneres and Glee’s Chris Colfer, an openly gay actor who plays an openly gay character, among many others.
Lady Gaga, for instance, continues to fight for the repeal of the American military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. A particularly moving 13-minute video of Fort Worth, Texas councilor Joel Burns presenting a plea to help queer and trans youth at a council meeting has gone viral on the internet. Simply searching “It Gets Better” on YouTube video search yields more than 600,000 results, so mission accomplished, right?
Not so much. A YouTube vlog by American trans activist Charles (YouTube username:freshlycharles) sparked a series of critiques of the “It Gets Better” project. In the original video, which was removed from YouTube, Charles explained – and I am paraphrasing, as without the original video there is little to go on but memory – that it “got better” for Savage because he’s a rich white man.
Charles called the “It Gets Better” project “silencing” because it ignored systemic forms of oppres- sion for queer people of colour, poverty, immigration, disability and other unrepresented and disadvantaged groups. Charles proposed a better way to reach these groups, noting that instead of telling stories, people should say something they would do to change these forms of oppression in their lives.
While the original video may seem harshly critical, in a follow-up video, Charles states that this was not an attack on the project, but an expression of frustration. Charles went on to share personal life details, specifically about time spent struggling with alcohol, drugs and suicide.
Charles’s opinions do reflect a frustration with the other side, the “It Gets Better” side. Charles raises a very valid point: it does not always get better, because people continue to struggle with identity, money, discriminatory institutions, depression and their family and friends. What I think Charles’ original video failed to recognize was the power of individual story, which allows the “It Gets Better” project to mean so much, and cause so much change.
Globally speaking, restricted internet access and language barriers limit the scope of the English speaking “It Gets Better” project, but if even one queer or trans child or teen reconsiders killing themselves, doesn’t that make it worth it? Furthermore, attacking Savage and saying his life got better because he was rich and white almost excuses other lives from getting better. It removes individual agency, the power to persevere and grow from oppression. If it doesn’t get better for anyone, then what is the point of hope?
In the end, my point is that critical engagement in the world is of the utmost importance in these trying times. One must be able to observe and analyze the world around them, but never at the cost of compassion.
In a follow-up video, Charles spoke not only of oppressive systems, but of first-hand experiences in them. It is this melding of the personal with the political that is what truly creates an environment for change.
Everyone has a story to tell, and to take these experiences and create a unified community working towards a goal is the first step towards equality.
IN MEMORIAM
The “It Gets Better” project was founded in September 2010 in response to the recent suicides of several self-identified queer and trans youth. The project was a way of bringing the queer community together so that other queer and trans youth would realize that they were not alone. Please take a moment to remember the young lives that were lost.
» Justin Norman Aaberg passed away on July 9. 2010. Justin was a 15-year-old high school student in Minnesota. His death stemmed from constant bullying throughout school, as well as the breakup of his boyfriend.
» Billy Lucas passed away on September 9, 2010. Billy, also a 15-year-old high school student in Indiana, had suffered severe bullying throughout the weeks leading up to his death.
» Cody J. Barker passed away on September 13, 2010. He was a 17-year-old high-school student who lived in Shiocton, Wisconsin.
» Tyler Clementi passed away on September 22. 2010. He was an 18-year-old freshman at Rutgers University in New Jersey. He jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge.
» Asher Brown passed away on September 23, 2010. He was a 13-year-old student living in Texas.
» Seth Walsh passed away on September 28, 2010, days after he attempted to take his own life. He was also a victim of bullying.
» Raymond Chase passed away on September 29, 2010 after he hung himself in his dormitory.
They will all truly be missed.